just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This is the prime rib incident all over again
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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