I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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