Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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