I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
