There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
