She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
