EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize