Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
