i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
