we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
