i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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