I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
