we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
