make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize