haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize