Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
