shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
