walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
