He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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