Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
