Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
