We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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