Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
