You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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