So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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