Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
