so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house