I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
