is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
