I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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