angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
