Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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