hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
