It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize