I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize