Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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