Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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