i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
