There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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