Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
