yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
