you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
