i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
