wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
