I'm gonna have a badass scar
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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