He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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