No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
