Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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