I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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