You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize