nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
