Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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