Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Help. Why am I so naked?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
