it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
