i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
