I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
