Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize