dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
