she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
worst night to have a conscience
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
