Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
COCAINE IS GR8
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
