I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i drank out of a bidet.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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