I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
