Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
