I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
